The twins played in the courtyard of their home.
They were named after the brothers of Helen
who mysteriously disappeared before the war in Troy.
Some said they were dead and buried.
Others said they were alive within the earth.
No one knew what to believe,
but everyone was shocked when the twins
were named after Helen's brothers by Odysseus.
Pennelope took great joy in the laughter
and the childish antics of the twins.
They played and ran through the house
and reminded her constantly of when Telemachus was a child.
He was all but lost now as well as his father
and all that was left to her was the big empty homestead
and the raucous play of these lads
who would grow up to leave other wives.
Things were so much better
since the suitors had been killed.
Everyone treated her with extreme difference.
The townspeople avoided coming to the hall.
The servants did all the trading in the town.
Pennelope hardly saw anyone but her own servants.
Yet she was content in that because of the trouble
she had before when she had tried to entertain many guests
after Odysseus was too long gone.
This cloistering left Pennelope with much time
to reflect upon things and most of all to think about Athena
and the mysterious words of the goddess.
Pennelope still trembled whenever she thought about having to travel
and what it might mean to travel without leaving home.
It just does not seem possible.
She kept trying to work out how
such a journey could be undertaken,
but she always ended up concluding it was impossible.
She had only ever been in her fathers house
and her husband's father's house that was now theirs.
She knew nothing of the world beyond her door.
She had only been to the town a few times
for very special occasions.
Ithica was a small land
and they had few guests.
Mostly what she knew of the world
was through the stories of the poets
-- and who could believe much
of the wild things the had to tell?
Pennelope lived in a woman's world --
It was small and narrow but full of pleasures
that only a woman could truly know.
Of these the delight in her children was foremost.
Watching them grow and learn kept her busy
from early morning till night fell
bringing with it a sweet exhaustion
from all the activities of the day.
Also there were the other women,
fellow prisoners within this household.
They exchanged secret desires that no man
could understand. They took great pleasures
in exploring each other's bodies and minds.
The men took no notice of their affairs
as the women took no notice of the affairs of men.
Barren Eros is what it was called
by those who did not feel the pang
of loneliness that could be comforted
by one that stayed near.
The extremes of separation in the Greek household
bred the nihilistic opposite loves of like for like.
Perhaps a woman bard would someday sing
of these other loves that filled
what would otherwise be empty lives.
But until she arose to sing from the shadows of silences
this side of the houshold would be lost in oblivion
a myriad longings that arose in the breasts
when bride prices were paid and the marriage songs were sung
and women parted company never to see each other again
after spending what seemed an eternity as fellow prisoners
slaves to each other's desires.
Most men saw their wives as merely a means of procreation.
In return for not looking too closely at what was going on beyond the veils
the men were able to divert themselves elsewhere.
There was a tacit agreement that the loves of like for like were mere illusions,
not to be taken seriously as they produced no issue.
Occasionally Pennelope would leave her loom
and the safety of the house to go with the servant women
to the well to fetch water and wash clothes.
This was her only real excursion out of the house.
The well marked the perimeter of her world.
During those walks Pennelope enjoyed seeing the flowers,
birds and other wildlife that lived near the hall.
The maids who were normally bawdy would be quieter
in their talk and laughter in difference to the presence
of their masters wife.
Pennelope would remember
between moments in the conversation
her life when she was a maid
on her father's estate and when she ran wild
in the woods as others took her with them to the well there.
On one occasion when she was a girl
as she was running through the woods
she suddenly cam upon a young man.
They were both startled
and recoiled from each other.
"Who are you that you trespass
on my fathers land?" she blurted out without thinking.
"I am a stranger to these parts
and I have lost my way. Is there an estate near by?"
"Yes, it is very near
and if I yell everyone will come running.
What is your name?"
"I am `Near Peace'. I have come from far off
and am on a journey home.
Do you think your father would be kind to a stranger
and give me provisions and help me on my way home?"
"My father is the most generous host in the whole world
and I am sure he will help you if you are honorable
and have good intentions rather than evil ones."
"What took you away from home?"
"I and some other youths decided to set sail in the Argo
to join the hunt for the Golden Fleece.
Have you heard the epic of the building of that magic ship?
We set sail without telling our parents and our ship finally sank.
I became separated from my crew and am having to return alone."
"Are you sure that the Golden Fleece has not been already returned?"
"We only heard of the building of the ship, not of its sailing
the poet that we heard it from did not know any more tales to relay."
"We have heard the tale of its going and return.
I believe that you are many years too late to join that famous crew."
"Oh, no. How will I find glory in this world?"
"Why did you think YOU would be allowed to join the crew of the Argo?"
"We are brave and thirsty for adventure."
"But what about your parents?"
"They will be angry with us
but they will eventually understand
because it is in the nature of boys
to seek adventure far from home."
"You should stay with your parents
and help them in their old age.
Your mother may die of grief from worry over you."
"That is the role of women.
I am fast becoming a man and must learn
my fate and live by my wits."
"You should meet my father.
He will tell you better than I
what is the role of the boy and the role of the man."
"Which way is the Hall of your father?"
"Go down that path an take a left
at the big oak tree, but avoid the well
where the women wash the cares from the clothes of man.
I must return to the women at the well.
I think it is best if we are not seen together.
I do not want my prospects for marrying a real man
ruined by rumors about meeting boys in the woods."
"What is the name of your father?"
"His name is Chrysaor. Tell him you are a traveler
who is lost and you will have nothing to fear.
However, do not appeal to my mother
as you might arouse his jealousy."
"Thank you. What is your name?"
"I am Pennelope, destined to be the mother of kings."
"Oh, really?"
"Yes, so be sure you pay proper respect to me."
"Oh, I shall, I shall. If you are so important
why do they let you roam around the woods on your own?"
"I often come with the other ladies to the well.
Can't you hear their voices as they bathe?"
"No!"
"Well, they are very close. It is the stream's sound
that prevents you from hearing them."
"I think you are alone out here."
"You are wrong!"
"Do not fear. I am an honorable man.
My parents have a high lineage also
and they have taught me to be honorable.
Besides the woman I choose shall be bonded to me
like the grafted sapling on the olive tree.
I am not interested in girls with high opinions of themselves.
I am looking for a woman who is just as cunning as myself.
Men and women need each other as support.
One holds up the inside of the walls of the house
and the other holds up the walls from the outside.
When I find my mate I will recognize her,
and she won't be running around out in the woods on her own."
"Well that may be but just as boys
spend their first years in the house with their mothers
so young girls are allowed to run in the woods
like Artimis and learn the seasons of the earth
without fear of their chastity being questioned.
Boys and girls are opposites in every way.
You and me live in a bifurcated world,
our experiences are completely different,
different as bright day from black night.
You had better go see my father.
He will straighten you out."
They circled each other facing each other
as they passed on the path
keeping as far apart as possible.
The youth turned and went on down the path
disappearing round the oak tree and turning
away from the well where the women
took their pleasures in each other that
were denied them by their men.
Pennelope stared after him wondering
at how strange he was in his manner
that was so arrogant. Pennelope found her way back
to the ladies at the well
who had not missed her
as they were now locked in deep conversation
about the nature of existence
as they drew the water of life from its source.
What they lacked in physical travel was made up for
by their exploration of the wide realm of flowing logos.
Men never thought about anything but "Glory."
But women were always thinking
about the inner structure of the world
which left them in deep conversations
that made them forget the time of day.
To them the landscape was all flesh,
the non-dual horizons of other female bodies and minds.
Where men suited for domination only, even among other men and boys,
women when they were alone together locked in their houses
knew the pleasures of shared Eros and thinking
that men could never know.
Later Pennelope heard from the servants
that a strange young boy had come to the house.
Everyone said he must be mad
roaming the countryside alone,
and very unreliable as he had lost his companions.
Her father was entertaining him
in the main hall with the other men.
The serving maids said he was unusually handsome,
Pennelope wondered that she had not noticed that.
"Welcome young man, what brings you to these parts?
Stand up you do not have to sit in the ashes of our fireplace.
It is unbecoming and others will think me a bad host."
"I set off with other youth from our island Ithica.
We intended to join the crew of the Argo
in search of the Golden Fleece.
But our ship ran aground when the crew did not follow my orders.
It sank and we all swam in different directions.
I was separated from my comrades
and I am now attempting to get home."
You must come from a backward island indeed if you
have not heard the epic voyage of the Argo which has
been completed by Jason for many years.
You and your fellows were very brave or very foolish,
but definitely too late in any event for that celebrated voyage."
"What said your parents to this adventure of yours?"
"They did not know as we left in the night.
They would merely have stopped us.
When it is time to become men one must take things into his own hands."
"Well those are brave words but look at you now,
perhaps their wisdom would have prevented your current plight."
"I am ready for what comes.
The gods prevented us from joining one adventure
perhaps there is another greater adventure in store?"
"You speak the words of a man of action
and you speak plainly about your aims.
The world is full of adventure,
it is left to women to think things through,
so I am sure you will find plenty of it.
But too often adventures end in grief.
So beware being too bold
and casting your fate to the wind needlessly.
But for now eat and rest with us
before your journey commences again."
"Thank you gracious host. May the gods looked down on you
with pleasure and cast their abundance on your house.
I shall eat for it has been many days since I last had hearty fare.
Tell me which is the best way south toward the coast.
I hope to catch a ship there to take me home."
"Beware you are not kidnapped by some
unscrupulous sailors who will sell you or ransom
you to your parents."
"I have no fear of slavery.
It is not in my heart to be a slave
as I am destined to be a King."
"Is that so? Then all the more reason
for you to taste slavery
as any king who does not know
slavery becomes a tyrant.
How can you hope to be great
when you have not known the plight
of the least of men.
If you desire to be a true king
then bury yourself in obscurity
and know the truth of slavery."
"What man says words like these in the world?
Every man flees from slavery and runs toward kingship.
Would you have me do the opposite.
Do you take me for a fool?"
"No! I take you to have the makings of wisdom
so I tell you to do the opposite of what other men do
and you will have a kingdom that lasts.
It is when you are most bereft and powerless that real wisdom unfolds.
Whereas if you follow their advise then your kingdom will be fleeting
as the dew of the early dawn.
This world does not last.
It slips from through our fingers like sand
on the beach that faces the sea of eternity.
If you ever reach that shore then you must weep
and cast yourself down for powerlessness is our only refuge.
If we grasp power without first grasping ourselves
then we loose it surely as night turns into day.
But if we first conquer ourselves then we become
kings of the world whether we have any one to follow us or not."
"You speak strange words which I have not heard before.
What is this wisdom that you speak from.
Is it the philosophizing of women that you have been deceived by?
I am a lover of wisdom myself and one proud of the practice of cunning
and I would learn this new lore if it is possible for me."
"It is the wisdom not of women
but that flows from the fountainhead of existence
before the bifurcation between men and women.
But it is only learned by those who understand humility
and can serve their fellow men with dignity.
Those who cannot serve remain ignorant forever.
As women serve us they are closer to this knowledge than we are.
What is lower is always raised the highest.
But their philosophy does not capture this gnosis."
"I would learn this knowledge from you
if you would apprentice me in it.
I am a person who seeks knowledge
to the ends of the wide earth.
For me adventure is learning to learn.
The quicker I learn the more cunning I become."
"But tell me, son, if you understand
learning to learn which you call cunning
then what is the learning of cunning?"
"I do not know. I have always thought that cunning
was the highest learning because it allows you to learn faster
than your opponent and thus out wit him.
I thought cunning was innate
and was given naturally to some and withheld from others."
"Cunning where one learns new ways of learning
faster than one's opponent itself may be learned.
When you learn that higher level of cunning
then you see the world differently.
For instance, you now see the whole world
in terms of glory and adventure in which you
intend to wield your cunning as a weapon.
But what if I told you there are others ways
to see the world that are completely different.
For instance, one could equally see the world
in terms of fate alone and the predetermination of our actions.
Everything is fated by the Norns.
They take the water of life from the well Mirmir
and place it on the worldtree along with mud
which they carry in baskets woven tightly.
This action determines the fates of all creatures.
Those who die unknown and those who attain glory
are the same in the fact that their ends are fated.
What is fated is always already determined.
those who achieve wealth and those who live in poverty
are fated also, as with all other aspects of our finitude.
Fate drives us through the world to our appointed ends.
We learn our fates and as we do so we learn about fate itself.
When you learn to see Fate washing through the world
instead of the race for glory then you have learned a new kind of cunning.
It is a cunning that sees the inner dance of the things of this world."
"I can understand that. In that way of looking at the world
I was fated to meet you and my search for glory was merely a self delusion
that impelled me to come to your door.
I can see myself as a fated being.
As my name implies -- I am a man who endures --
endures many pains and sorrows
presumably that is my fate."
"You are quick to learn and will make a good apprentice.
So now that you have soared beyond cunning to a world
that can be either fated or gloried
can you tell me if there is a higher plateau
of learning beyond that?
Or have we reached the highest degree
of what may be learned
with regard to cunning?"
"You are my teacher. I am but a boy
who wandered in out of the wilderness,
who thought that living by cunning was enough
to get by in this world.
Now I find my world has expanded
and I have new ways to look at it by.
I imagine those new ways to learn cunning are endless
as the seas that stretch out around the world.
But if there is an even higher plateau of learning I do not know."
"Think about it, young man, you are right
there are endless ways to learn cunning
and encounter the world.
But can you encounter the encountering?"
"I am lost in these realms and fear
becoming like Icarus whose wings melted
and failed him due to his getting too close to the sun"
"Let me help you then and give you newer and stronger wings
for your thoughts to fly upon. Wings made of thought.
Each of us learns several ways to encounter the world --
Glory, Fate -- these are two of the many ways we find
meaning in the things in the world.
But what happens in the encountering of the world.
Who encounters the encountering in which the world arises?"
"I encounter the world! It encounters me!"
"Yes, but the encountering is one action uniting both.
Is it not?"
"I feel the moorings of my world being unleashed.
I feel the ship of my world sinking
and myself with it. I am drowning
in the encounter in which there is not difference
between myself and the world which I had always
so cleverly kept at bay."
"Never fear. That revolving of yourself
and your world within the unity of encounter
is the highest level of learning.
It is the point where cunning turns inside out
as we learn to learn cunning.
Beyond that is only the unthinkable.
Beyond that is the drowning
in the ocean stream of existence."
"But what is this ocean what stretches out before me?
I feel it is vast. I feel it is surging and my spirit longs to swim
in that ocean of the unthinkable beyond the highest level of learning."
"It is emptiness, my man. Dive into that ocean
and you become invincible.
It is a sea into which only the bravest of men are able to delve."
"I see myself as lost in that ocean
without a shred of buoyancy not even a mast or an oar.
It is an ocean without end and I have fallen
in it forever, lost in those endless depths.
I feel helplessness -- utter powerlessness."
"You, sir, have learned quickly indeed
an important lesson of life.
I invite you to stay with me and learn more
for entering that sea with your thoughts
is merely the first step on a path
of true adventure where few have gone before you.
When knowledge mixes with experience to become wisdom
and wisdom mixes with emptiness to become gnosis
and emptiness mixes with fullness to become a staying,
a permanent dye, then you will learn the true depths of that sea
that can only be known by the heart. What is unthinkable is
not unintelligible to the heart. Drown in it here now
before the sea of water engulfs you or the land swallows you up.
Learn to reflect -- become a mirror to reality.
Just as you learn to leap from plateau to plateau
in the mountain range of these towering thoughts
until you entered the void which is without thought or experience,
so too you must learn to cease thinking and become one with that sea
that arises and overflows from beyond the void."
So it was that Odysseus stayed long with the father of Pennelope
and learned the wisdom which polished his cunning.
Transforming him inwardly as the boar
hunt with his grandfather had initiated him outwardly.
Eventually he returned to his parents home
all the wiser and betrothed to Pennelope at the behest of his new master,
the father of meaning who fate had guided him to through his foolishness.
In his apprenticeship he learned true servitude
and became finally fit for kingship.
Copyright 1996 Kent Palmer. All Rights Reserved. Not to be Distributed.
Not to be stored in any electronc form nor published in hard copy without the Authors permission in writing.
Permission is granted to individuals to temporarily store and make one copy for personal study.
961123 -- Draft 4 -- epic06da.fm