Pennelope's Delight


The twins played in the courtyard of their home.

They were named after the brothers of Helen

who mysteriously disappeared before the war in Troy.

Some said they were dead and buried.

Others said they were alive within the earth.

No one knew what to believe,

but everyone was shocked when the twins

were named after Helen's brothers by Odysseus.

Pennelope took great joy in the laughter

and the childish antics of the twins.

They played and ran through the house

and reminded her constantly of when Telemachus was a child.

He was all but lost now as well as his father

and all that was left to her was the big empty homestead

and the raucous play of these lads

who would grow up to leave other wives.

Things were so much better

since the suitors had been killed.

Everyone treated her with extreme difference.

The townspeople avoided coming to the hall.

The servants did all the trading in the town.

Pennelope hardly saw anyone but her own servants.

Yet she was content in that because of the trouble

she had before when she had tried to entertain many guests

after Odysseus was too long gone.

This cloistering left Pennelope with much time

to reflect upon things and most of all to think about Athena

and the mysterious words of the goddess.

Pennelope still trembled whenever she thought about having to travel

and what it might mean to travel without leaving home.

It just does not seem possible.

She kept trying to work out how

such a journey could be undertaken,

but she always ended up concluding it was impossible.

She had only ever been in her fathers house

and her husband's father's house that was now theirs.

She knew nothing of the world beyond her door.

She had only been to the town a few times

for very special occasions.

Ithica was a small land

and they had few guests.

Mostly what she knew of the world

was through the stories of the poets

-- and who could believe much

of the wild things the had to tell?

 

Pennelope lived in a woman's world --

It was small and narrow but full of pleasures

that only a woman could truly know.

Of these the delight in her children was foremost.

Watching them grow and learn kept her busy

from early morning till night fell

bringing with it a sweet exhaustion

from all the activities of the day.

 

Also there were the other women,

fellow prisoners within this household.

They exchanged secret desires that no man

could understand. They took great pleasures

in exploring each other's bodies and minds.

The men took no notice of their affairs

as the women took no notice of the affairs of men.

Barren Eros is what it was called

by those who did not feel the pang

of loneliness that could be comforted

by one that stayed near.

The extremes of separation in the Greek household

bred the nihilistic opposite loves of like for like.

 

Perhaps a woman bard would someday sing

of these other loves that filled

what would otherwise be empty lives.

But until she arose to sing from the shadows of silences

this side of the houshold would be lost in oblivion

a myriad longings that arose in the breasts

when bride prices were paid and the marriage songs were sung

and women parted company never to see each other again

after spending what seemed an eternity as fellow prisoners

slaves to each other's desires.

Most men saw their wives as merely a means of procreation.

In return for not looking too closely at what was going on beyond the veils

the men were able to divert themselves elsewhere.

There was a tacit agreement that the loves of like for like were mere illusions,

not to be taken seriously as they produced no issue.

 

Occasionally Pennelope would leave her loom

and the safety of the house to go with the servant women

to the well to fetch water and wash clothes.

This was her only real excursion out of the house.

The well marked the perimeter of her world.

During those walks Pennelope enjoyed seeing the flowers,

birds and other wildlife that lived near the hall.

The maids who were normally bawdy would be quieter

in their talk and laughter in difference to the presence

of their masters wife.

 

Pennelope would remember

between moments in the conversation

her life when she was a maid

on her father's estate and when she ran wild

in the woods as others took her with them to the well there.

 

On one occasion when she was a girl

as she was running through the woods

she suddenly cam upon a young man.

They were both startled

and recoiled from each other.

 

"Who are you that you trespass

on my fathers land?" she blurted out without thinking.

 

"I am a stranger to these parts

and I have lost my way. Is there an estate near by?"

 

"Yes, it is very near

and if I yell everyone will come running.

What is your name?"

 

"I am `Near Peace'. I have come from far off

and am on a journey home.

Do you think your father would be kind to a stranger

and give me provisions and help me on my way home?"

 

"My father is the most generous host in the whole world

and I am sure he will help you if you are honorable

and have good intentions rather than evil ones."

 

"What took you away from home?"

 

"I and some other youths decided to set sail in the Argo

to join the hunt for the Golden Fleece.

Have you heard the epic of the building of that magic ship?

We set sail without telling our parents and our ship finally sank.

I became separated from my crew and am having to return alone."

 

"Are you sure that the Golden Fleece has not been already returned?"

 

"We only heard of the building of the ship, not of its sailing

the poet that we heard it from did not know any more tales to relay."

 

"We have heard the tale of its going and return.

I believe that you are many years too late to join that famous crew."

 

"Oh, no. How will I find glory in this world?"

 

"Why did you think YOU would be allowed to join the crew of the Argo?"

 

"We are brave and thirsty for adventure."

 

"But what about your parents?"

 

"They will be angry with us

but they will eventually understand

because it is in the nature of boys

to seek adventure far from home."

 

"You should stay with your parents

and help them in their old age.

Your mother may die of grief from worry over you."

 

"That is the role of women.

I am fast becoming a man and must learn

my fate and live by my wits."

 

"You should meet my father.

He will tell you better than I

what is the role of the boy and the role of the man."

 

"Which way is the Hall of your father?"

 

"Go down that path an take a left

at the big oak tree, but avoid the well

where the women wash the cares from the clothes of man.

I must return to the women at the well.

I think it is best if we are not seen together.

I do not want my prospects for marrying a real man

ruined by rumors about meeting boys in the woods."

 

"What is the name of your father?"

 

"His name is Chrysaor. Tell him you are a traveler

who is lost and you will have nothing to fear.

However, do not appeal to my mother

as you might arouse his jealousy."

 

"Thank you. What is your name?"

 

"I am Pennelope, destined to be the mother of kings."

 

"Oh, really?"

 

"Yes, so be sure you pay proper respect to me."

 

"Oh, I shall, I shall. If you are so important

why do they let you roam around the woods on your own?"

 

"I often come with the other ladies to the well.

Can't you hear their voices as they bathe?"

 

"No!"

 

"Well, they are very close. It is the stream's sound

that prevents you from hearing them."

 

"I think you are alone out here."

 

"You are wrong!"

 

"Do not fear. I am an honorable man.

My parents have a high lineage also

and they have taught me to be honorable.

Besides the woman I choose shall be bonded to me

like the grafted sapling on the olive tree.

I am not interested in girls with high opinions of themselves.

I am looking for a woman who is just as cunning as myself.

Men and women need each other as support.

One holds up the inside of the walls of the house

and the other holds up the walls from the outside.

When I find my mate I will recognize her,

and she won't be running around out in the woods on her own."

 

"Well that may be but just as boys

spend their first years in the house with their mothers

so young girls are allowed to run in the woods

like Artimis and learn the seasons of the earth

without fear of their chastity being questioned.

Boys and girls are opposites in every way.

You and me live in a bifurcated world,

our experiences are completely different,

different as bright day from black night.

You had better go see my father.

He will straighten you out."

 

They circled each other facing each other

as they passed on the path

keeping as far apart as possible.

The youth turned and went on down the path

disappearing round the oak tree and turning

away from the well where the women

took their pleasures in each other that

were denied them by their men.

Pennelope stared after him wondering

at how strange he was in his manner

that was so arrogant. Pennelope found her way back

to the ladies at the well

who had not missed her

as they were now locked in deep conversation

about the nature of existence

as they drew the water of life from its source.

What they lacked in physical travel was made up for

by their exploration of the wide realm of flowing logos.

Men never thought about anything but "Glory."

But women were always thinking

about the inner structure of the world

which left them in deep conversations

that made them forget the time of day.

To them the landscape was all flesh,

the non-dual horizons of other female bodies and minds.

Where men suited for domination only, even among other men and boys,

women when they were alone together locked in their houses

knew the pleasures of shared Eros and thinking

that men could never know.

 

Later Pennelope heard from the servants

that a strange young boy had come to the house.

Everyone said he must be mad

roaming the countryside alone,

and very unreliable as he had lost his companions.

Her father was entertaining him

in the main hall with the other men.

The serving maids said he was unusually handsome,

Pennelope wondered that she had not noticed that.

 

"Welcome young man, what brings you to these parts?

Stand up you do not have to sit in the ashes of our fireplace.

It is unbecoming and others will think me a bad host."

 

"I set off with other youth from our island Ithica.

We intended to join the crew of the Argo

in search of the Golden Fleece.

But our ship ran aground when the crew did not follow my orders.

It sank and we all swam in different directions.

I was separated from my comrades

and I am now attempting to get home."

 

You must come from a backward island indeed if you

have not heard the epic voyage of the Argo which has

been completed by Jason for many years.

You and your fellows were very brave or very foolish,

but definitely too late in any event for that celebrated voyage."

 

"What said your parents to this adventure of yours?"

 

"They did not know as we left in the night.

They would merely have stopped us.

When it is time to become men one must take things into his own hands."

 

"Well those are brave words but look at you now,

perhaps their wisdom would have prevented your current plight."

 

"I am ready for what comes.

The gods prevented us from joining one adventure

perhaps there is another greater adventure in store?"

 

"You speak the words of a man of action

and you speak plainly about your aims.

The world is full of adventure,

it is left to women to think things through,

so I am sure you will find plenty of it.

But too often adventures end in grief.

So beware being too bold

and casting your fate to the wind needlessly.

But for now eat and rest with us

before your journey commences again."

 

"Thank you gracious host. May the gods looked down on you

with pleasure and cast their abundance on your house.

I shall eat for it has been many days since I last had hearty fare.

Tell me which is the best way south toward the coast.

I hope to catch a ship there to take me home."

 

"Beware you are not kidnapped by some

unscrupulous sailors who will sell you or ransom

you to your parents."

 

"I have no fear of slavery.

It is not in my heart to be a slave

as I am destined to be a King."

 

"Is that so? Then all the more reason

for you to taste slavery

as any king who does not know

slavery becomes a tyrant.

How can you hope to be great

when you have not known the plight

of the least of men.

If you desire to be a true king

then bury yourself in obscurity

and know the truth of slavery."

 

"What man says words like these in the world?

Every man flees from slavery and runs toward kingship.

Would you have me do the opposite.

Do you take me for a fool?"

 

"No! I take you to have the makings of wisdom

so I tell you to do the opposite of what other men do

and you will have a kingdom that lasts.

It is when you are most bereft and powerless that real wisdom unfolds.

Whereas if you follow their advise then your kingdom will be fleeting

as the dew of the early dawn.

This world does not last.

It slips from through our fingers like sand

on the beach that faces the sea of eternity.

If you ever reach that shore then you must weep

and cast yourself down for powerlessness is our only refuge.

If we grasp power without first grasping ourselves

then we loose it surely as night turns into day.

But if we first conquer ourselves then we become

kings of the world whether we have any one to follow us or not."

 

"You speak strange words which I have not heard before.

What is this wisdom that you speak from.

Is it the philosophizing of women that you have been deceived by?

I am a lover of wisdom myself and one proud of the practice of cunning

and I would learn this new lore if it is possible for me."

 

"It is the wisdom not of women

but that flows from the fountainhead of existence

before the bifurcation between men and women.

But it is only learned by those who understand humility

and can serve their fellow men with dignity.

Those who cannot serve remain ignorant forever.

As women serve us they are closer to this knowledge than we are.

What is lower is always raised the highest.

But their philosophy does not capture this gnosis."

 

"I would learn this knowledge from you

if you would apprentice me in it.

I am a person who seeks knowledge

to the ends of the wide earth.

For me adventure is learning to learn.

The quicker I learn the more cunning I become."

 

"But tell me, son, if you understand

learning to learn which you call cunning

then what is the learning of cunning?"

 

"I do not know. I have always thought that cunning

was the highest learning because it allows you to learn faster

than your opponent and thus out wit him.

I thought cunning was innate

and was given naturally to some and withheld from others."

 

"Cunning where one learns new ways of learning

faster than one's opponent itself may be learned.

When you learn that higher level of cunning

then you see the world differently.

For instance, you now see the whole world

in terms of glory and adventure in which you

intend to wield your cunning as a weapon.

But what if I told you there are others ways

to see the world that are completely different.

For instance, one could equally see the world

in terms of fate alone and the predetermination of our actions.

Everything is fated by the Norns.

They take the water of life from the well Mirmir

and place it on the worldtree along with mud

which they carry in baskets woven tightly.

This action determines the fates of all creatures.

Those who die unknown and those who attain glory

are the same in the fact that their ends are fated.

What is fated is always already determined.

those who achieve wealth and those who live in poverty

are fated also, as with all other aspects of our finitude.

Fate drives us through the world to our appointed ends.

We learn our fates and as we do so we learn about fate itself.

When you learn to see Fate washing through the world

instead of the race for glory then you have learned a new kind of cunning.

It is a cunning that sees the inner dance of the things of this world."

 

"I can understand that. In that way of looking at the world

I was fated to meet you and my search for glory was merely a self delusion

that impelled me to come to your door.

I can see myself as a fated being.

As my name implies -- I am a man who endures --

endures many pains and sorrows

presumably that is my fate."

 

"You are quick to learn and will make a good apprentice.

So now that you have soared beyond cunning to a world

that can be either fated or gloried

can you tell me if there is a higher plateau

of learning beyond that?

Or have we reached the highest degree

of what may be learned

with regard to cunning?"

 

"You are my teacher. I am but a boy

who wandered in out of the wilderness,

who thought that living by cunning was enough

to get by in this world.

Now I find my world has expanded

and I have new ways to look at it by.

I imagine those new ways to learn cunning are endless

as the seas that stretch out around the world.

But if there is an even higher plateau of learning I do not know."

 

"Think about it, young man, you are right

there are endless ways to learn cunning

and encounter the world.

But can you encounter the encountering?"

 

"I am lost in these realms and fear

becoming like Icarus whose wings melted

and failed him due to his getting too close to the sun"

 

"Let me help you then and give you newer and stronger wings

for your thoughts to fly upon. Wings made of thought.

Each of us learns several ways to encounter the world --

Glory, Fate -- these are two of the many ways we find

meaning in the things in the world.

But what happens in the encountering of the world.

Who encounters the encountering in which the world arises?"

 

"I encounter the world! It encounters me!"

 

"Yes, but the encountering is one action uniting both.

Is it not?"

 

"I feel the moorings of my world being unleashed.

I feel the ship of my world sinking

and myself with it. I am drowning

in the encounter in which there is not difference

between myself and the world which I had always

so cleverly kept at bay."

 

"Never fear. That revolving of yourself

and your world within the unity of encounter

is the highest level of learning.

It is the point where cunning turns inside out

as we learn to learn cunning.

Beyond that is only the unthinkable.

Beyond that is the drowning

in the ocean stream of existence."

 

"But what is this ocean what stretches out before me?

I feel it is vast. I feel it is surging and my spirit longs to swim

in that ocean of the unthinkable beyond the highest level of learning."

 

"It is emptiness, my man. Dive into that ocean

and you become invincible.

It is a sea into which only the bravest of men are able to delve."

 

"I see myself as lost in that ocean

without a shred of buoyancy not even a mast or an oar.

It is an ocean without end and I have fallen

in it forever, lost in those endless depths.

I feel helplessness -- utter powerlessness."

 

"You, sir, have learned quickly indeed

an important lesson of life.

I invite you to stay with me and learn more

for entering that sea with your thoughts

is merely the first step on a path

of true adventure where few have gone before you.

When knowledge mixes with experience to become wisdom

and wisdom mixes with emptiness to become gnosis

and emptiness mixes with fullness to become a staying,

a permanent dye, then you will learn the true depths of that sea

that can only be known by the heart. What is unthinkable is

not unintelligible to the heart. Drown in it here now

before the sea of water engulfs you or the land swallows you up.

Learn to reflect -- become a mirror to reality.

Just as you learn to leap from plateau to plateau

in the mountain range of these towering thoughts

until you entered the void which is without thought or experience,

so too you must learn to cease thinking and become one with that sea

that arises and overflows from beyond the void."

 

So it was that Odysseus stayed long with the father of Pennelope

and learned the wisdom which polished his cunning.

Transforming him inwardly as the boar

hunt with his grandfather had initiated him outwardly.

Eventually he returned to his parents home

all the wiser and betrothed to Pennelope at the behest of his new master,

the father of meaning who fate had guided him to through his foolishness.

In his apprenticeship he learned true servitude

and became finally fit for kingship.


Copyright 1996 Kent Palmer. All Rights Reserved. Not to be Distributed.

Not to be stored in any electronc form nor published in hard copy without the Authors permission in writing.

Permission is granted to individuals to temporarily store and make one copy for personal study.

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